~Finding My Niche~

I've set the date...

2009-06-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

After much contemplating and motivation brought to be by my dearest Erin, I have finally decided to go with "The Change"......

NOT THAT CHANGE YOU WEIRDO READERS!!! (likes being a boy)

To the detriment of the Spokane Community and the benefit of the greater Metropolitan area of Minnesota, I have decided to move back to Minnesota. (yes I have lived there before).

All I can say is that I am super excited to be with my best girl again and I have already started selling all my crap so there is noooo going back. I'm outta here on September 14th!!

Emily made me do it.... sort of...

2009-03-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

Here's the scoop.The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It’ll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it’s going to be.
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it! If you don't have a blog.... uh, we can work something out. We can post pictures here or something. Or, you could start a blog! Blogs rule (the world!) Bloggers of the world unite!
Also, if you’re already getting something from somebody else’s blog, please give someone else a turn! Thanks!

Bittersweet memories of Bittersweet Hot Coco.

2009-01-01T23:29:00.000-08:00

So to start off my new year of blogging I am going to talk about how the last year, which was not my best, was saved. My Erin and her mother, by chance, came to Spokane to visit for Christmas. Now mind you my last year has been made pretty complicated by the stress of constantly being challenged at work, moving several times, meeting the wrong guys, and adjusting to life in Washington. In some ways even though I have learned a lot about myself from living here on my own I also feel like small parts of me have started to disappear here. That was until Erin was here. She always knows what to say to me, whether its what I want to hear or not, and is always ready with a snuggle for me. She has a way of bringing out the me that I know is inside. The me that not everyone here knows, because I keep myself so guarded here. She is my true friend. A fierce and loving friend. It pains me that I get to have her here and then have to say goodbye again. But, of course I would rather have her here for a short time than not have her here at all. My time with her is so short and so special. Every moment and every second with her is a new memory for me to have to remind myself that I am loved. Like making the worlds best hot chocolate with real chocolate shavings and chocolate marshmallows. It feels good to know that I have such a friendship. One that without a doubt will last on into the future. A friendship that is so honest and real and loving that its not really a friendship at all. It's family. And I couldn't ask for a better person in my life to call my family than her. I love you Erin Bear!!

I swear I am a magnet for people who are unavailable to me.

2008-11-02T00:29:00.000-07:00

Why is it that every guy I meet is unavailable... Doesn't matter who he is there is always something that makes him unavailable.. Its very frustrating. Whether he is already taken, unstable, or god forbid not wanting a real relationship. Did we forget what the point of dating was? Cause I thought it was to meet people and get to know them in the inevitable goal of finding one single person to be with. So if one "dates", but does not want a relationship, then what do they want? What are they looking for? what is the end goal? Why are they dating? I am frustrated.....Just talking out loud..

Feeling Blah....

2008-01-28T23:10:00.000-08:00

I am tired of caring. The more you care, the more you have to lose, and the more you are disappointed. okokok i know.. Im a debbie downer. Totally in need of some posative encouragement!! thanks!!

More Blogging!!!!!!

2007-11-24T23:23:00.000-08:00

As demanded by Erin..... I have been sooo preoccupied the last couple months trying to get my life in order and I forget to do this.... Soo whats up My faithful readers.. all three or four of you.. HAHAHA...... Here is what has been going on with me lately..

1. Financial Ruin- HAHA ok ok a little dramatic, but not working for two and a half month has really made a dent in the bank account.... However I have recently gotten a job working for a fortune 500 insurance company. The people are cool and really nice. I am currently undergoing 14 weeks of monotonous training, but I will get through it. Should be done around the end of February. The pay is really good and the benefits are even better so I think I will stick around for a while.

2. Housing or lack there of- I am still staying with my friend's parents, but I did get a really great apartment overlooking the park and downtown Spokane. Its a sweet pad and my friend lives there so its all furnished and everything. I am just waiting to be able to afford to move in.. Still playing catch up from unemployment.

3. Love life- Yeah I actually have one. Imagine that. So when I first got here I met this totally sweet guy. Unlike anyone I have ever dated. He is a wonderful intelligent, handsome guy. we hung out every moment of my first two weeks i was here. Sadly two weeks after we met he jetted off to Japan for three months... We have been able to keep in touch quite often though which I am very grateful for. From all of our long distance communications we have both come to the conclusion that we are completely into each other and that we are now exclusive.... I miss him a lot and cant wait for him to get back in mid-December. He is one of the only good things about living here that keep me from running back home to Alaska.. Well thats it for now.. The pic isof My guy (kyle) and myself on his birthday in September. More to come soon I promise.....

~B~

~Far and Away...........Far Overdue!!~

2007-09-09T22:47:00.000-07:00

Alright Alright Alright!!!!! May the blog Gods strike me dead right where I stand for not keeping up with my Blog. Well I made it and I am here. The cool picture is from a neat city in Canada where visitors and tourists come to leave their own sign as a mark of them being there. There had to be several thousand signs. It was pretty cool. After a very tearful goodbye to friends and family. And most of all my Luv Bug Erin. I am here and settled in Coeur d'Alene Idaho. Though my goodbye to Erin was very tearful it hadn't hit me completely what my move would mean for us and our relationship in the future. It hadn't really hit me until about half way through my drive through Canada. I was sitting at a little, rather crappy, diner with my Grandmother who so graciously in her old age volunteered to drive down with me and I suddenly felt a wave of emotion come over me. Normally I am perfectly capable of controlling my emotions , but this time I felt like Christina Yang on Grey's Anatomy when she found out she had a miscarriage, crying hysterically and asking people to sedate her. Lucky for myself I was able to hold it in long enough to excuse myself from the table and have a good cry in the men's bathroom. The thought of not being able to see My Erin and hold her and laugh with her and do all the other amazing, stupid, funny things we do together had hit me suddenly and hard. But, alas life does go on and now I get to look forward to those equally amazing, funny, probably stupid, yet less frequent times we will share in the future. And that of itself is a blessing. Idaho so far has been good to me. I am staying with my second family whom I just adore and who also adore me too. Though they are not my real family I love and trust them as much as any of my close family members. They are truly great and caring people. I have gotten around town a lot and met several new and very interesting people. I have never had a problem making new friends. My main problem right now is finding a job that I can live off of, 8.00 per hour is just not gonna hack it for me, but I am sure something will turn out in my favor eventually. As exciting as Idaho life can be I am afraid that this is as exciting it gets for me right now so i shall sign off here and will post again soon I hope. Perhaps I shall blog about my new Iphone and make Erin more jealous that I have one and she doesn't. But for now I will grab my Erin bear to cuddle with and get some shut eye. Good night world.... Sleep well...

~Erin, My Erin~

2007-08-05T03:14:00.000-07:00

So...... I was continuing the process of preparing my move today and after i had finished shampooing the dining room carpet I had started painting my bedroom white. As I reluctantly washed away the pistachio green color that my room had once held all its fabulous glory with the overbearing ,painfully bland, white finish, I started to think about Erin, My roommate. I thought about when we first moved in and she thought I was completely insane for choosing such a color for my bedroom and how much I regretted painting it that color when I was finished. It was great when the paint had dried and i had finished decorating the bedroom and I remember how surprised I myself was and how much Erin loved it too. It was such a comfortable and warm space. It made me sad to see the green go away cause it made me think that I too shall be going away. I think one of the things i will miss most is having someone like Erin who is there whenever and where ever I need her. We are really so good for each other, always there for each other,and we make a really great team. I will especially miss the nights of reading Harry Potter to each other until we fall asleep, our random trips to Wendy's for spicy chicken sandwiches, and our consistent mutual hungering for oreos which later has become a staple in our home diet. What I will miss most, however, is her creativity, how she can take something as simple as a plain orange dress and add some beading around the neck and make it unique and beautiful. How her voice changes to a cute whine when she needs something from me, but is a little shy to ask for it. Our "go team" hi-five when we have done or thought of something together that we think is really great. And also our random and at times expensive shopping trips usually induced by one of us being depressed. Hey! Don't Judge! So shopping makes us feel better! After all those hott satin and lacy red pumps are not gonna find themselves into Erin's closet on their own are they? We have really built are own little family here and it pains me to feel the need to leave. But, I know that where ever I go I take a special part of Erin with me, because the ones that love us never really leave us. So this, my second blog, is for you Erin. Because, I love you. Because, you are my family. And because, you are the best friend I could have ever asked for. Thank you for being no more and no less than just exactly who you are. I love you!!

~BRI~

First Blog ~Finding My Niche~

2007-08-02T00:19:00.000-07:00

Ecological Niche- a term describing the relational position of a species or population in an ecosystem.
That is what I am looking for. My Niche. My ecosystem. My place of habitat. Or more simply put, the place where and can live and thrive healthy and happily. Alaska has been home for so long that it makes it hard to leave. But, I am suffocating. I feel isolated and stagnant. Life is moving forward and I am not. I am just existing. If my life were anything else other than human I would think I would be a rock. Always the same size and shape. Occasionally moved perhaps, but unchanging. Not getting bigger or better or even worse. Just there.. A rock. But, on a posative note, I would be the sexiest most devastatingly handsome gay rock there ever was. But, alas, My patience has run out. I'm tired of being a rock. I know I'm not living up to my potential and that I can be and do so much more. So it's time for me to "move the cheese" so to speak. Great reference for those of you that have read that book eh?? I am going to be proactive and change my life instead of waiting for life to change. The beginning of this change is to move out of Alaska. Experience new places and things. Start a life and career and school. Whether it be moving to Arizona for work or to Idaho for school (which has yet to be determined) as of September of this year I am out of here. I am going to seek out my Niche.